i rant. i scream. i cry.
i laugh. i bitch. i post.
that's what Blog is all about ?
WANEE
turning 22
adik_wani@hotmail.com
EDITED: Meii/{♥}
Layout: Scribbles-love/{♥}
Icon: Photobucket
|
|
Saturday, January 12, 2008 ;
"Most people fail to see the person standing right in front of them ... the one who cares the most, the one who would give their heart, soul, and life but ask nothing in return."
Have you guys ever had any Emotional Rides? Well I do. And I'm having that stupid fcuking feeling right now. Yes, it sucks. Sucks like no one business. It's a shitty feeling when you just feel all tensed up without any reason. Feeling as if no one even bother to see you alive or not. Feeling all yucky about your ownself and attitude. Feel like as if no one care about what your feeling is. And on top of that, all those memories just came knocking, making you feel as if you could turn back the time. Damn! I hate this point of time when I'm really down. REALLY. It feel like as if you wanted to be all alone so that people would know how you felt and whether your presence is being acknowledge or not.
Now, now. How fcuking sucky is that. Argh! Fcuked! Fcuked! FCuked! Plus all those shit I get. Its just so unfair. VERY UNFAIR. Why even I bother to understand the feelings of other people when they even bother to understand mine. WHY??!! Why are people so selfish that they don't even put themselves in our shoes? Like commenting other people BF profiles like, "dont forget to bring me out yar!" and something like oh not so important comments like "phew! its friday!" @&$#!!&$??! Haish. Ok tell me, am I being plain jealous or am I being TOO jealous? Tell me, which GF would just ignore it? Ok, so what if you're calling me JEALOUS-shyt or whatever it is, but all because of that I just feel insecure. Cibai or what? THANKS AHH.
Next fcuking thing is about job. I don't even want to bother to emphasize on it. Let's make it clear. I got a new job. A NEW JOB AFTER SEARCHING FOR LIKE 3 FCUKING YEARS. I repeat THREE FCUKING YEARS! Why can't they give me a chance to try new things? Oh c'mon! I'm having less than 5 months to enjoy working as a part timer before I start heating my butt at the seats and typing the shyt out of my life. Gimme a new experience man! Ohhh! I'm being unreasonable cause I'm quitting when there's no staff? How about the others then? Why can they? Why can't I? Give me the reason then? Why are you all making me fell all guilty?! WHY?! I didn't mean to be rude or selfish or what so ever you called it. I'm just being my ownself. I think too much about others that it hurts me all soo bad. Now, if I'm being selfish, I would have leave that place years ago. And NO, not now I'm trying to find new job. Ask my Dad, and he could give you an hour of lecture of how and when I start to find new job. And he kept saying, "Nevermind, maybe your luck is still at KFC." And yes, I gave up on searching. But here, came an opprtunity for me to widen up my experience, WHY AM I BEING TREATED THIS WAY? Its' not fcuking fair! I'm sorry if I hurt you people in a way or another. I didn't meant to say all this. But please try to understand me.
I don't know what hurts me very bad. The relationship or the work. Damn! I hate having this type of feelings. Who does anyway? Kadang2 aku rasa macam aku kena bodoh2 ngan orang2. Senang je orang nak kena kan aku. aku yang bodoh asik fikirkan perasaan orang lain. Ok Shayida, I hate LIBRANS for this part.
OK, first and foremost, I'm sorry for this entry. I'm just too angry that I don't know who I wanna turn to.
Workplace, I'm sorry if I'm being selfish to pull out myself during these "tragic" time. I really need a new space for myself. Please try to understand me. I've been searching for a new job since 3 years back. And I think I've given my best for the past nearly 4 years in KFC. I don't wanna leave KFC with a bad impression of people saying "Wani so bad. Leave us when there's no staffs." I don't want any shyt-talking behind my back, which I know there would be. Haish.
Baby, I'm sorry if I kept giving you problems day by day. As what i told you, I seriously missed the old us. The one where I could feel you really care about my feelings and about us. The one where you respect my decision. No, I don't mean that you did not respect me now, its' just that I just felt different. I don't know how to put it in a sentence. That's why I say, YOU won't understand me and never would. Baby, I'm really sorry. I love you like I always do.
I'm sorry poeple for this emo entry. I need to pour out my feelings. But in the first place, why even I bother to type all this when actually THEY don't even bother to read up my blog. Yes, pathethic right? I know. That's what NURRIZAWANI means. Pathetic. Whatever. So long bloggers.
Few QUOTES i find very meaningful. In other words, making me feel better in a way or another:
"As food is needed for the body, them same way love is needed for the soul. Food strengthens the body while love strengths the soul. A person is incomplete without love."
"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."
"I wonder if one day when you look back on your life you'll see its not always about the big picture. It's really all about the moments and maybe one day you'll look back and string all those moments together and then you'll realize when you add them all up, your life is more meaningful than you could have dreamed."
"The most important things that happen to you happen by accident so pay attention to everything and everyone."
|
|