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isabelle ;

WANEE

turning 22
adik_wani@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008 ;

I'm waaaay to sad to blog the memories I've shared with him. Its too precious. I can't bear to let go all the memories we had. It hurts.

& I'm not putting you in a bad spot. Never did I have any intention to do so. You are still the best BF i've ever had. You are still the lovely BF that can make me laugh, the one who teaches me to be patient and humble, the one who teach me not to give up easily and lots more. I've learned a whole lot of things with you. =)

Reading back the messages sent in my Motorola mobile which I've kept neatly for nearly 19-20 mths bring tears to my swollen eyes. All those promises and ensured messages of not leaving me eventhough you are too busy with your exams and work, and promises made to say "I Do" together seems to vanish in your mind and heart, but not mine.

There are simply so many things that we've planned but not yet achieved, and this have to happen when I really need you on my back to give me all the support. But, you leave. You leave me with all those unanswered questions and problems we had, not giving me any chance and worst, not giving your ownself any chance to change. Tell me, is this fair to me?

Everywhere I went to, those memories keeps gushing in. Why? Because with you, I explore. And I thought all those exploration will bring sweet memories when we grow old but no, it bring the sad moments in my life, not yours.

-My house Banquet; the place where our eyes met.
-Marina Square; the place we where we met, watch movie, eat Burger King, sits outside and talk, the day where you go public just because I dont take bike.
-Bugis; the time we took neoprint and my 2nd time having Swensens and you say I'm like some parliament2 people cause I wore all white. and the day I know Naufal.
-ParkMall; I had my very first Fish and Co dinner and you told the waitress, "I'll go withdraw money and I'll leave her here for awhile."
-Vivo; when we had our first ride in your Hyundai Getz.
-Mount Faber; the place where I never thought I'll be there. The scenery we simply loves and the moments we had there.
-ECP; where you fetched me from my Friends Birthday Party.
-Jeast Entertainment; the time you work there with all your riders friends who simply loves to disturb me. The time we always curik2 meet at the rubbish dump area.
-Jpoint; the day you fetched me work from my OJE training for my new JOB. And days you fetched me fom work.
-My block; there, we simply chill and talk cause we are lazy to go somewhere.
-Storey 4 & 12; Hell, you know what we've gone through.
-Westmall; the place where we always go and it will simply RAIN everytime we went there.
-Bpanjang; days where you fetched me after I sold all the chickens and you, naziff, sufi came along too.
-Lot 1; the day we watch FANTASTIC 4 before I went Malacca for my projects.
-Town; where we went out with the Riders and I get to know Ali, Yan, Naziff and all.
-Taka Seoul Garden; We have our dinner there and the riders plus me getta know about your secret that you drink some milk from somewhere.
-CoffeEbean borders; I getta know your Taman Jurong friends.
-Taman Jurong shopping Centre; place where I follow you to get all your NS stuffs.
-Queensway; you follow me buy my school shoes and sandals.
-JE2 KFC; yes, we had our lunch there a few times.
-Teh Tarik; yes, you ate your Chicken Chop there after I'm done with work.
-My house Banquet; where we ate and you keep saying the makcik keep looking at you.
-Mc donald; our usual meet ups when hunger strike.

Now, tell me, where can I go?

No, I never jot all this down. It is well kept in my brain. Every moments with you counts in my life. Every single moments bring tears to my eyes. I dont know how you can simply let go of all this without even thinking twice in trying your very best to change.

I cant help it but this message really makes me cry;
15 May 2007- im really s0wie...i didn't meant t0 d0 this t0 y0u..i'll try ma very best t0 chg ma daily lyfstyle t0 fit u in k n os0 bring back e specialness k..alth0we seld0m mit each otha..bt u r always in ma heart whereva i g0..i l0ve u dear..d0n u eva leave me k..i'll chg..

Sigh. I don't even know what to do with all this memories. I wish I could just burned it away and dont remember anything that I shared with you. But I can't cause you are my FISRT LOVE, the love which I put my heart and soul.

Thank you Ibrahim Hussine. Demi ALLAH, I takkan dapat lupakan kenangan kita walau seinci pun. You are just way too beautiful for me in my life. Letting go is just an easy way out for you to run away from all your problems. But remember, all the pain and hurt are on my shoulder.

I love you like i've always do. I dont know till when. Biarlah ALLAH yang menentukan. Demi ALLAH, air mata ini tetap megalir bersama memori yang kita tempuh.

FRIENDS, we ended our LOVE journey in a good way. He is still the person who make me fall in love over and over again. Please, don't ask me anything about our LOVE journey. Let's just say, ITS NOT OUR FATE and We are too YOUNG. And I know we still love each other, only that somethings are unavoided. Letting go doesn't mean everything is over in a bad way. Nop. Nope for NURRIZAWANI and IBRAHIM. We have our reasons why we should just end it. =)

Ohh, and there, if YOU are laughing at me, laugh man. I know you are waiting for my downfall. Ohh yess baybeh, I know whoever waiting for this. But for sure I know, I'm still his bestfriend and he's still my bestfriend. Friendship will never die easily. He's still there for me when I've problems. =)) And at least, we are still in good terms eventhough everything seems bad.