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Monday, August 18, 2008 ;
I swear I'm gonna wake up with swollen eyes.
& I know the two's heard my crying inside the room, but they just mind their own business.
The day that I feared most prolly gonna start haunting me day and night. Not knowing the truth hurts, but knowing the truth hurts more than stabbing yourself with a knife. I rather opt to stab myself instead of going through this cycle, right now.
I pray hard to the One and Only One to let me overcome this obstacle cause I personally think that what I'm going through right now is a test in making me stronger. Although sometimes I do blame HIM for giving me this test, but I know, a miracle gonna do wonders at the end of this journey. Insyaallah. No, I'm not asking for the miracle that he gonna come back to me cause that won't and never happen. I know.
Whenever I'm not in my rightful thinking, I always wish that I could get hit by a car so that I could just forget everything, but Astaghfirullah, its not worth it. Cause I don't wanna forget my Family and Bestfriends. They are the real joy in my life despite them not showing any physical affections or what so. & they never LIE.
Insyaallah, I can forget him. I'll pray cause I don't wanna fall for the wrong person anymore and get myself all hurt. He promised me before that he'll never hurt me, but he did. He promised me before, he'll never leave, but he did. He promised before that he gonna love me, but it faded away. And he promised before, he won't LIE, but he lied right infront of my own eyes. And now, the one suffering is still ME, Nurrizawani. Now tell me, where's the justice?
Guys, if you don't know how to appreciate the meaning of LOVE, then, DON'T. Cause you would never understand. You simply give all sorts of promises but yet, leave us broken hearted, without even thinking whether that particular partner of yours might be the one you've been searching for. But oh well, Love is no longer important as long both parties are 'willing' right? =)
extract from the BestFriend blog;
to my bestfriend; NURRIZAWANI; i type this specially for you cause i cant cut and paste. HAHA. i hope its helping you aite. ((:
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita dapat menjadi penilai yang baik.
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita sedar bahawa kita hanyalah mahkluk yang sentiasa mengharapkan pertolongan ALLAh.
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita dapat KASIH SAYANG YANG TERBAIK, KHAS UNTUK DIRI KITA.
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita sedar bahawa ALLAH MAHA PEMURAH & PENYAYANG kerana mengigatkan kita bahawa dia bukanlah pilihan yang hebat untuk kita dan kehidupan kita pada masa depan.
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita dapat mengutip pengalaman yang tak semua orang berpeluang untuk mengalaminya.
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita jadi MANUSIA YANG HEBAT JIWANYA.
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita lebih faham bahawa CINTA YANG TERBAIK HANYA ADA BERSAMA ALLAH.
memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yang salah supaya kita LEBIH MENGENALI KEHIDUPAN YANG TAK SELAMNYA KEKAL.
take care k, im just a call away. ((:
Note to Shayida; Thanks Bestfriend. And I appreciate your effort for this and for your advice. I'll do justice for my ownself, I hope. =)
Note to self; Let go. PLEASE?
I'm suffering a great headache. I need my rest.
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