not really. just filling up those empty slots before tears starts rolling and everything just crushed down like before. oh well, actually everything's starts to crush again last night. i can't be bothered whether or not i'm strong enough to carry on handling 2 jobs per day (sometimes), as long i'm free from having to think about all those memories. i prefer handling it this way rather than sitting down, doing nothing.

a few bunch of people have already know where i'm working at. and some keep asking me, 'ehh tak penat kerr? gila pe kau?" if i'm crazy, then i'll be at woodbridge hospital. :) i'm not crazy for sure. there's nothing wrong in earning extra bucks since i'm NOT having good pay and great jobs like sitting in an office or having a desk of my own. but still, Alhamdullillah for the amount i've got cause the very least my job didn't let me starve till the end of the month. :) i just need to do some work in order not to start thinking of *him. i thought it gonna work but no, cause at the very end of the day, before i close my eyes, i'll still have *him on my mind.

i know, i know, *he's attached. but so what? it's not that i want me being this way. well at least i did not 'haunt' him down cause i still have dignity and pride. i won't be approaching neither *him nor *his-love-of-his-life. cause i know how *his-love-of-his-life would feel if *his-EX keeps harping about the past and keeps haunting him. in other words, i DON'T WANT to be like *his-other-EX. well, i went through that situation, now i went through this situation. sigh. i can't even remember if ever i'm prepared for all this at the very first moment we are together cause i thought we're gonna stick but hell shit, things just need to fall apart. sickening. i'll just pray hard that i won't and never bump into them, at all.

by the way, i don't know why *his cousin asked for my number. oh well, i can't simply say, NO face to face. so, he took down my number and starts messaging. naahh, as long no nonsense gonna take place, i don't mind. and he knows that i still couldn't get over evrything yet. :)

i don't know why am i yacking about all this. maybe because i miss *him. fcuk laa.


dad is being extremely irritating by asking me a question by which he've already known or maybe half-known the answer. it's so irritating that i just need to raise my voice a bit a say, "YE AYAH...." in a sarcastic way. and there he goes mumbling to himself macamlah kononnya aku tak dengar, "nak jawab pun susah." -.- please someone, explain to me, which part of it that irritates me? abeh sekarang dia bingit ngan aku. mcm nangbueytinang abes sak. tak kuasa aku nak layan. see laaah! is it my fault if i'm being rude to him? menambahkan dosa aku yang bertimbun tau by being rude to him. Astaghfirullahhalazim.




*ahem-ahem*

//ps: shayida, that HOTTIE told me something, he said "ILY" to me. i couldn't believe my ears too. and i'll inform that BLONDE that you're interestd in him. ohh no, i'll tell my HOTTIE about it and he'll pass the message exclusively for you, my dearest. no worries, me and HOTTIE won't disturb you and that BLONDE. i mean, you mentioned to me that that BLONDE is way HOTTER than my HOTTIE, so i'll walk an extra mile just for you. :) no, i'm not and never would be jealous of you and that BLONDE. never. well, what are FRIENDS for. :) may you'll be happy with him cause i'm very sure he's currently single. ouch! that's extremely sweet since both of you are not attached. till here then BestFriend, my HOTTIE called and we're going for a date later on. i'll update you about that BLONDE, soon! i know you can't wait! me too! wuuhoo! i need to get some delicious cookies from my HOTTIE. xoxo.